Thursday, April 3, 2008

The Rant

I think all people who've had it easy in their life should take a fall, at least once, just to feel how hard it is to get plonked on the ass. Unfortunately, that list of people includes me. The idea of wanting something - and by something I don't mean a strawberry cheesecake gelato, or a boyfriend, or anything that stupid, however not-stupid it seemed to me at the time - and not getting it, was something alien to me. After I finished my boards, I wanted to do an Arts Course in one of the best Universities in India, and there I was. After Arts, I wanted to study Law in the best University in India, and there I was. After Law, I thought my game was up - I wanted to work as a Criminal Lawyer, an ambition that was practically unfeasible, and poof - here I am. And mind you, all of these ambitions were not well thought out, nor did I actually strive and work hard to achieve them. I did the minimum work possible, and somehow, it all worked out. It was almost the luck of the draw. So when I wanted to study abroad, I slog my butt off - wake up early, sleep late, spend tons of money, get a hundred opinions and drive myself totally up the wall - for what? To be informed by a University Graduate Admissions Member that :

Although the Committee on Graduate Studies recognizes your fine record of achievement, we sincerely regret that we are unable to offer you admission to the *** course at the *** Law School. It is never a pleasant task to advise that an application has not been accepted, but we are much encouraged by the fact that our applicants are so well qualified that most will gain admission to one of the many other fine graduate programs around the country. We hope that this will be true in your case and wish you every success in your graduate studies and professional career.

Well guess what?

And now, much like my failed relationships in the past (for the record I have more University rejects then failed relationships, which is a good thing), I sit to angst over it - was it something I said? Something I didn't do? Did I make my move too late? Was I not just good enough? Did I not deserve this? At least I didn't have to annex photographs to the applications or I don't even think I'd have the guts to get out of the house today morning.

All I can say is, it hurt. One day I'll think back and rate this below the disappointment I felt when I went to the Metro Gelato shack and found that they had just ran out of Strawberry Cheesecake Gelato. Or when I didn't get tickets on the Toy Train at Matheran. But for now, it's right up there, my top three shitty moments - along with being dumped by SMS on my birthday and losing my first independent case thanks to a rigged judge.

But then I think - something better always comes along. I am much happier than I could ever be with the Birthday dumper, who was a loser (obviously - I mean, who on earth does that?) and later on I got strictures form the High Court against the Magistrate and I forced him to rewrite his Judgment. So how's some stupid little Ivy League (and some which are not even Ivy League) Colleges going to change the path of my destiny?

Ah, I ranted. And now I shall go to fight Domestic Violence.


Sri said...

Hi Ruma,

I know not getting what you want is very painful to sure you deserve to get into the best University in the world!dont worry..relax..God has a better plan for you:)

Btw,i love reading ur blogs..


Ruma said...

Thanks Sri! :)

She said...

Sorry to learn of the rejection. I too faced it a lil while ago. Feels shitty. Hang in there, there's a larger picture you cant see just yet, but in that frame all of this will make sense.