Depression

I personally hate it when people crib. There is just too little time on hand, and all everyone wants to do is whine. However, in the very recent past, a little too recent, in fact, I have come to realize that sometimes, there really is nothing left to do.

Imagine you working on University applications. Maybe a lot of you have. Remember the anxiety, the pressure, the thinking up corny lines to open your personal statement, the repeated spell checks (not relying on Microsoft word, because we all know that "Bomb" can suddenly become "Boob"), the pleading for recommendations and the suppression of hints regarding the 'special lines' you want put in, the fights with college authorities for transcripts, the nailbiting rush to beat the deadline? And the huge sigh of relief when you walk out of the Courier Office, receipt in hand, it's over, finally, it's done.

And then the courier tumbles out of the delivery bag, somewhere in the US heartland, just like that.

Welcome to my world.

DHL University Express has single handedly ruined my happiness. And not only that, they also have the most socially inept person on their customer care panel to handle my case. Most of my efforts with DHL, when not focused on tracing the application, was to get my customer service in charge changed. Finding no success while even complaining to the higher ups, I started bitching about the girl to her herself.

"And then they keep this completely insensitive and incompetent person on my case. Fancy that!"

"Yes Ma'am, yes ma'am, I completely understand"

Finally, now that my application has been certified as lost and now that the University has kindly agreed to look into my case, I now have to run around recompiling all my material. Not to mention, redo a 100$ draft for Admission fees.

Which brings me to ICICI.

My salary cheque is very dear to me, as regular readers (all two of you) of this blog will know. It is not much, but it keeps me alive. Barely. My Boss gave me a cheque which was more than two months pay this time, whether this is a bonus or in anticipation of heavy poverty for the next 6 months, we shall never know, but it was given to me, 31st December, and duly deposited.

10 days later, my account was still severely depleted.

Thinking that this was most certainly a Boss fault (insufficient funds, varied signature) I pestered Boss for his chequebook, and found that this cheque had been debited from his account on 2.1.2008.

I stomped into ICICI, all set to file an FIR for misplaced funds.

For the next 15 minutes, I sat aghast as I was informed that the money was sitting in a "suspense" account, as the name on the cheque differs from the name of the account holder. The name on the cheque was spelt correctly. My name, on my ICICI Account, was spelt wrongly.Not only wrongly, but in a way so as to make it completely unpronounceable.

"Ma'am, are you sure you spelt your name correctly on the form?"

Of course other cheques, in my CORRECT name, have been deposited into this account with no problem. At least I hope so. You see, ICICI cannot trace which of your cheques are sitting in this suspense account, unless you provide each cheque number. Of course I am assured that if a cheque was placed in suspended animation, ICICI would send me an SMS or snail mail to my permanent address, none of which was done in the present case.

"Oh Ma'am, I sincerely apologize for that."

So within 8 working days, the amount will be deposited in my account, after they check the account details, you know, just in case, in a moment of severe insanity, I might just have spelt my name in a German kind of way.

As a result of the cheque fiasco, when I got to check Boss's account books, I also found out something else. The same "bonus" amount was also paid to Poo, another associate in the office. Normally I would not object. However, Poo was on matrimonial leave for the past 2 months and I was the one doing all her work.

I was crestfallen - the kind of disappointment you hear when despite yourself and your hang ups you get all comfortable with the idea of getting into a formal relationship and meeting the parents and then finding out that your boyfriend's mother is looking for a girl for him who is the exact opposite of who you are and who you will ever be.

Oh, wait a minute, that was yesterday.

And today, I check my balance, which is still hovering around minimum balance (and I have a zero balance account, mind you), and walk into the house dejectedly.

And find out that Reliance has sent me a notice of disconnection of power supply due to non payment of bill.

A bill which I have been walking around with for the past month - which I haven't been able to pay because I just didn't have the time, and when I had the time I didn't have the money. Looking at that notice of disconnection, I realized that I had never felt so irresponsible, so poor, so dejected and so depressed ever before, at least not on looking at a piece of paper. The Ambanis might have made a lot of people cry, but this might have been their most bizzare yet unintended success yet.

I am trying hard not to say that it could get worse, because it always can, and in fact I already know a few ways in which it CAN get worse.

And perhaps this is a rather sad way to vent, typing out my woes on a public forum and not sharing it with my loved ones, but then again I've lost my voice.

I'll keep the wisdom tooth for another post :)